You’re not hiding anymore.
That was my first (or one of my first, I don’t always catch the first one) thoughts when I woke up this morning. You’re not hiding anymore and you can’t go back to hiding.
There are a number of things moving and shifting and emerging in my life really FAST. Opportunities are literally coming from every direction: seeds I planted years ago that I had lost hope would ever sprout are sprouting. Some are shooting—like I’m Jill in the Beanstalk.
What this first thought is reminding me of, I think, is that there are times ahead when I will want to go back to hiding.Being less visible in my art and in my own life by waiting for permission to shine, not taking the best care of my body, and getting stuck in perfectionism is comfortable because I’ve been afraid that being visible makes me a target for other people’s misdirected creative energy.
And I am right in many ways I am and will definitely be a target because some major stuff is about to pop off in my life, and there will always be people who would rather focus on what those around them are doing than do the harder work of figuring out what they’re here to do and how they’re here to serve. There will always be people who will try to knock down those who appear to be quickly rising and those who don’t understand the origins of the rise.
What I’ve learned, though, is that just because others may try to make me a target, it doesn’t mean I must receive the barbs of their jealousy or their slights. It doesn’t mean I have to allow any of it in my space. I get to decide what I allow in and what I don’t, what I believe and what I don’t and that’s the thing I know will keep me from hiding ever again.
That and continuing my healing work every single day. It never stops.